Affording the proof and breaking down the wall in my own mind. When scientist crunched the number of the probability of your exact circumstances to your exact life... the number they found proves that YOU are a 1 in 10^2,685,000. I get these facts from Mel Robbins and I personally consume her Kool-Aid daily.

Another cool fact I got from her is how many atoms does it take to make up a human being? Have you ever asked Siri this one? You should. "A human body weighing 154 pounds (70 kilograms) is comprised of 7 billion billion billion atoms, which is a 7 followed by 27 zeros. It includes a variety of different types of atoms -- only a few of which the average person is probably familiar with. So with just these two facts show how special you really are.

 So knowing this why do we go to war with ourselves daily?

Most of my life I have been at war with my thoughts. A ginger kid, raised in Utah in the 80's that was gay.... does this answer your question 'Why was Taylor at war with herself?' Come on really.... I had the cards stacked against me and I haven't even talked about my bowl-shaped haircut that my mother wanted to perm. I thank God there are no pictures from that year!!!

My struggle came on about 13 as I knew I was different but not sure why or how. I had no interest in boys. Didn't want a boyfriend. Never wanted to wear dresses or have anything pink. My dolls I played with where the bionic women, G.I Joe and the Hardy Boys... again looking back... I hear the song "I see the signs'!  

I didn't fit in and that is when the war started in my head. By the age of 15, I was being bullied and had stopped talking about this to my loving and supportive parents. Truly I had the best but they had no idea the war that was destroying me from the inside. A war that took me down a deep dark hole that if not for me reaching out to my mother I am not sure I would still be an atom existing.

I have been writing of my youth and the strong parents that raised me. They could read me like an open book and allowed me to be unique. I was a daydreamer and my dad would say "Hold that dream inside and it deprives the world your greatness, let it out so the world can see all that you have to offer".

Now that you have read this I am going to ask the same of you! Don't hold that dream in... it's not stupid! It took 7 billion billion billion atoms to make you... that is absolutely a beautiful miracle. Your dream should be set free for the rest of us. Period.

Who do you surround yourself with? Who is in your tribe? What tree do you sit under and talk about your greatness? Surround yourself with those wanting greatness for you and others.

There is one more thing I am going to ask that you do. Stand a few feet wider. That's right take up more space. In that space you stand taller, wider... you can know feel your greatness in your core. You are 1 in 10^2,685,000. We are beautiful accidents that are so unique and at the same time so much alike. Your heart beats for a reason! 

I added a song that I found last week by the Goo Goo Dolls called "So Alive". When I heard the words they hit home with me. I have been at war with myself at times and every time I kicked the ass of the dark one.  I am a miracle. You are a miracle! 

I wake up today knowing I have kicked ass and the stronger version WON! I can't wait to see what your stronger version does!

Love and light,

Taylor